Words and Warm Fuzzies

What you say matters – even when you don’t know it

Every interaction and conversation you have, regardless how small they may seem, can have a big impact

Over the past few years I’ve attended an annual week-long conference in Texas. When I attended the conference last year I signed up for an evening social event held at a local museum and forgot to tell my colleagues to sign up with me. After some internal debate whether I should attend alone, I decided to go. Being a very extraverted RED, I knew that with a little effort I would be able to find either a group of people or a fellow solo visitor to explore the facility with me.

Walking into the event, I immediately noticed that most people were in closed group conversations with people they already knew. I tried my usual tactics by making eye contact and smiling to appear approachable and cover up how awkward I felt being solo - it didn’t work. Slightly taken back, I decided on a new approach – food consumption. Eating at social events with open seating is always an opportunity to engage in small talk, all while trying to decide if it’s appropriate to respond while you have food in your mouth.

I spotted a solo, mid-twenties, friendly-faced guy who was happily chowing down at a nearby table. As expected, he didn’t mind if I joined him and we casually chatted about the industry, his unhappiness at his current contract job and discussed how to go about finding a new work. I had much experience with changing companies, unemployment and the undesirable job search. I shared with him a few unassuming stories of my experiences and different approaches I used during my search. I shared my RED view on getting outside of comfort zones with bold cold calling, relentless emailing and not being afraid to ask strangers to coffee. I didn’t think anything of the innocent small talk and to be honest, I was just searching for someone to hang out with for a couple of hours. As I left that evening, I didn’t give one more thought to the guy who let me join him for a few hours at a conference event.

Fast forward to one year later at the same conference, I was presenting a poster during an afternoon session when I saw him again. He recognized me even though it took me a few seconds to place who he was. He said he wanted to stop by and tell me his story of what had changed over the past year since I had seen him last. He shared that he quit his contract field job after we spoke and pushed his personal comfort levels in search of a better job fit. He networked and cold called strangers over five long months and finally ended up at a fantastic company. He wanted to personally thank me for the advice I passed along one year ago.

I was left with warm fuzzies fluttering around my insides and in total shock that I had unknowingly impacted someone’s life in such a big way. A casual, innocent conversation set someone off on a path that would better their career. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, the impact of the words we choose to say gets lost. Whether you are talking to your team, a colleague, a friend or a stranger, remember the things you say matter.